Boris Johnson

3 Apr
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson

This week, Boris Johnson was on BBC Question Time to talk about how the world is going to shit. Each week on QT, there’s someone sitting in the ‘cunt chair’. The chair moves, but essentially, there’s always a cunt on the show. Be it Danny Alexander, Nick Griffin or Kelvin MacKenzie. This week, it seemed as if Boris was in the cunt chair (he was the only Conservative who didn’t look like a mouse there).

But, as much as his party’s policies are as comfortable as a lemon-juice enema, his rhetoric is astounding. He’s quick witted without trying and can dig himself out of the stickiest situations. I saw him at People’s Question Time in Camden last year and he was hilarious. The fair Mayor of London didn’t know his microphone was on throughout the meeting, so the whole hall was treated to his blustering insults, (mostly aimed at RMT union members) ‘poppycock’ ‘tosh’ ‘oh grow up’. His hair had just been cut, especially for the event – another GLA member actually mentioned this – and he kept on burying his bonce in his hands. If any other politician was seen with their head in their hands, it would be front-page news, indicative of some sort of breakdown. But when Bozza does it, it’s just him being his idiosyncratic self.

This messy style would look great lesbians’ heads. We’ve seen an intense specificity in hairstyles over the past 7 years – Emos, you have a lot to answer for. But really, what’s sexier, the person who spends hours carefully straightening, gelling, bouffing, back-combing their hair, or the person with shaggy, imperfect bed-head? The hair makes a scarily powerful buffoon look approachable. It could work for you, too.

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