Tag Archives: actress

Tilda Swinton

31 May
Tilda Swinton by Craig McDean

Tilda Swinton by Craig McDean (I know, I thought it was Bowie, too)

‘ethereal’

Okay, now I’ve got that one out of the way, we need to talk about Tilda Swinton. In the wake of Cannes’ preview screenings of We Need To Talk About Kevin, people have been fawning all over her, and there’s no wonder why.

The film is going to be sooooo great. Based on Lionel Shriver’s 2003 bestseller of the same name, the epistolary novel is an itchingly unsettling stare-out with the hideous paranoias (and realities) of parenting and being a child. Just as the great Celine Dion says, the book is for all the children in the world and all the parents in the world. That is: fucking everybody. In theory. Funnily enough, the author, Lionel Shriver, doesn’t have any children. It’s easy to see why, though, if her expectations of childrearing are signalled in the book. I’m not sure Tilda is the best person for this role: she seems too stoic, too distant. However, without giving the game away, it’s going to be easier for audience to feel safe from Kevin if his evil is not solely manifested by his nature, but attributable to his nurture/his mother. And I have a sneaking suspicion that Tilda’s not as harsh as she comes across on mainstream celluloid.

If you haven’t already art-wanked over all the Derek Jarman collaborations, you’ll recognise Tilda’s androgynous, razor-featured visage from small, yet integral parts in Hollywood fare such as The Curious Case of Benjamin and The Beach. Oh come on, you definitely know her. She’s snogged both Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio. AND she’s probably the most boyish person George Clooney will admit to snogging – as can be seen in Burn After Reading – and also won an Oscar for another performance alongside the coffee-flogging eternal bachelor, in the fantastic thriller Michael Clayton.

Her sex life is seen as controversial, because she has children with an older man and sex with a younger man and they all live happily in the same wind-whipped mansion up a hill in Scotland. But TBH, it just makes her sexier: that a woman with no obvious interpretation of femininity (just look at the hair) can fuck who she likes, is so refreshing. Even if she’s not sleeping with women, she remains a role model to any woman who is a bit of a misfit, but (unlike Gaga, who wants to paint us all as freaks and monsters), doesn’t self-identify as one.

Her hair sums it all up. Ginger or icy blonde, it’s always a perfect combination of mess and precision.

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Ellen Page

11 Apr
Ellen Page

Ellen Page

One of the cutest videos ever has just been uploaded onto YouTube. No, it’s not a fainting kitten, it’s Ellen Page juggling. Ellen Page has kind of fallen off my radar since Inception scared me so much I couldn’t sleep alone for weeks. I worry that she’s not going to do enough films and then suddenly age and her cutesy, doll-like face will look really weird as she becomes a proper adult. Like Michelle Trachtenburg – she’s got one faces which reminds you that she was hotter when she was 16 and that’s really creepy.

The magic to Ellen Page is that she’s pretty, but not scary pretty like Christina Ricci. In interviews and her roles, she comes across as intelligent, charming and kooky. Intelligent in a Winona Ryder way. Not kooky in a Chloe Sevigny-will-suck-a-cock-and-it’s-art way, but in a genuinely “I don’t care about looking good for guys” way. And even that’s not in a Kristen “I’m dating R-Patts so I will just wear whatever shit I find on my floor” Stewart way.

If there was a Venn diagram with Chloe Sevigny, Winona Ryder,Christina Ricci and Kristen Stewart all represented as circles and they all crossed over at a particular locus, then I would put that Venn diagram in the bin as a symbol of my wholehearted acknowledgment that it’s reductive to describe women as amalgamations of other women.

Ellen doesn’t conform to a traditional gender role of femininity – she wears boys clothes, isn’t afraid to express her intelligence and doesn’t spend hours each day making herself aesthetically more appealing for men. Yeah, it’s a shame that as soon as a woman doesn’t put makeup on in the mornings, people question her sexuality, but with all the lezzing about her and Drew Barrymore did during the promotional tour for Whip It, can we be blamed for wondering/wishing?

There’s more to it than that. She’s got the perfect nonchalant lesbian hair down. Or up. It’s almost non-descript and rubbish, but women who’re into femmes still adore her, because she is blessed with one of the prettiest faces this side of the catwalk. When her hair’s done all big for photoshoots for mainstream media, she’s detestably pretty. So this boring hair is exactly what’s needed to give Ellen a semblance of normalcy- it complements her face, uglifying her and making her accessible and friendly.

Annette Bening

27 Feb
Annette Bening

Annette Bening

In honour of tonight’s Academy Awards, I thought I’d give a nod to Annette Bening. It’s hardly like she’ll pick up the Oscar for Best Actress. We’re more likely to see James Franco’s withered rotting arm win Best Actor than anyone but Natalie Portman walk away with the coveted accolade for best leading lady. However, Annette’s performance in The Kids Are All Right is not to be played down. There’s a crucial moment (I’m going to pretend you haven’t watched it) in the film where you can feel your own blood boiling along with hers.

Her hair has been short for various stages of her career. Although it was super short in recent years – in Kids and American Beauty – it doesn’t seem lesbiany enough. Maybe because, even though she was playing a lesbian in Kids, she (as well as the other leads, played by Mark Ruffalo and Julianne Moore) was so unlikeable. Plus, this 90s cut looks a lot more chilled out and natural.

In terms of her actual sexuality, it’s a shame, because she’s still a banger, but she’s got to be a billion per cent straight in order to keep husband and babe-magnet Warren Beatty in check.

Lindsay Lohan + Sam Ronson

13 Feb
Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson, 2008.

Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson, 2008.

Lindsay Lohan’s been back in court this week. The actress, who’s just finished up a session in rehab following a jail stint, has pleaded not guilty to the alleged crime of stealing a necklace. But as she’s still on probabtion for 2007’s DUI, she could be sent daaaan for anything up to three years. Her lawyer’s offered a plea bargain, which means she’ll say she’s guilty in order to avoid a harsh sentence. Which is the weirdest rule ever. Regardless of what happens, I really miss her acting and her and Samantha Ronson being together. How many young lesbian couples were there in the spotlight before these two started hooking up? It’s such a shame that they were hounded by paps and painted as a miserable, argumentative couple. I mean, look how glossy and beautiful their hair was.

Cynthia Nixon + Christine Marinoni

10 Feb
Cynthia Nixon and Christine Marinoni

Cynthia Nixon and Christine Marinoni

Congratulations to Sex and The City star Cynthia Nixon, who announced yesterday that girlfriend Christina Marioni had given birth to a son, Max. Looking at their hair, you can see that Christine is pretty butch. And it’s a shame that some people assume that because Cynthia’s more feminine, she would take on the female role of being pregnant. As one comment on the Daily Mail‘s boards put it:

“I always pictured Cynthia as the “woman” in the relationship. Poor baby, to grow up in such a mixed-up family.”

brosnanfan, USA, 9/2/2011 6:18

It’s such a shame that we’ve already had this argument about Elton John and David Furnish’s baby. But just to hit it home, plenty of straight families without the money to have children still have babies on purpose and by accident. On the flipside, people in same sex relationships aren’t going to have a baby by mistake, and celebrities sure are rich enough to provide financially for their children. Money doesn’t make people happy, but it certainly helps, especially when babies cost over £20,000 to raise in their first five years. I know which family I’d rather be born into.

Franky, Skins

29 Jan
Franky (Dakota Blue Richards)

Franky (played by Dakota Blue Richards)

I’ve never been too keen on Skins. Firstly, I feel a bit too old for it. That’s the problem with casting teenagers to play teenagers; I don’t want to care what they’re doing, because as cool as they are, it’s never cool to care about what people younger than you are up to. Secondly, no programme is ever going to top Buffy The Vampire Slayer when it comes to accurate representation of/appropriate metaphors for teenage life. There’s one thing that could get me to watch the first episode of the madly hyped new series, though. And that’s Franky. Ok, bit harsh to call her a ‘thing’, but knowing the series’ penchant for ticking LGBT boxes, it seems it’s gearing up to add the T. Her hair is perfectly androgynous, yet classic; this could be a promo shot for the teen Tipping the Velvet.